Saturday, February 25, 2006

haiz i am kinda confused rite now i was at fault at something but y ami crying is it guilt or is it juz me being confused on wat i should do i think i did the rite thing maybe i am juz a fool like they always say an idiot a moron tats wat i will always be in ppls eyes juz fuck it man

FUCK LIFE FUCK IT ALL

i juz wat to die i don care if u would remeber me or not but juz let me die slowly also can as long as i die i am happy i don care if u ar going to cry for me or not (like u will like tat) haiz juz me fuck me fuck the world fuck god the gd for nth arsehole ya fuck him too hell

haiz i am kinda confused rite now i was at fault at something but y ami crying is it guilt or is it juz me being confused on wat i should do i think i did the rite thing maybe i am juz a fool like they always say an idiot a moron tats wat i will always be in ppls eyes juz fuck it man

FUCK LIFE FUCK IT ALL

i juz wat to die i don care if u would remeber me or not but juz let me die slowly also can as long as i die i am happy i don care if u ar going to cry for me or not (like u will like tat) haiz juz me fuck me fuck the world fuck god the gd for nth arsehole ya fuck him too hell



Tuesday, February 21, 2006

here alone again i stand in the darkness
thinkin of life how much i miss joy miss
the times we talked on the phone and
when ever i remember u tears ar the
only thing tat acompanies me in the
dark being alone always some ppl
say it is better to be alone but for me
i have been alone for far too long to
actually that being alone is fun
with my guitar in one hand my blade
in the other with my headphones
blasting my ears and my bleeding
arms after all those cuts tat i inflicked
on my self ppl ask y i do it but everytime
i try to tell them deep inside i defensively
would hide the truth from them cause deep
inside i noe some would juz try to act concern
some are really concern but wat the heck like
they would ever sincerly care bout me
like they would ever be there for me ever again
like it really matters anymore juz being me
is like a curse knowing me long enough or
close enough is also like a curse so hell with
life juz hate it and i always will be alone
in the darkness of the shadows in life..........
alone ........till i die.......



Sunday, February 19, 2006

have been listening to a song by a indonesian band sheila on 7 it is titled tunjuk satu bintang i don noe y but i kinda like it very smoothing
i juz donnoe y but tis few days feel like crying
maybe i am missing someone haiz maybe i am missing her
or maybe it is juz methinkin too much haiz
even at tas pract nice too see those ppl again
haiz but i juz feel like there is something missing
in my life wat is it i donnoe maybe it is juz me
haiz maybe it is juz the fever i am having
high again 39.9 nice rite
ppl say i would be dead if i was normal
but i am not even a normal human wat
juz a half breed tat is trying to live in tis world
getting depress over things tat is not important to me
thinkin botu things tat for now is not important to me jzu sometimes i am juz
fed up wif wu i really am wat i really am i juz wish i could change how i look
and juz walk around knowing no one would recongise me anyway or even wat to noe me haiz juz stupid stupid .............................................



Sunday, February 12, 2006

humans i am juz stumb with the decision pf weather wat i am doin rite now is rite or wrong maybe tis is why my father 1st gave up on trying to protect humans maybe tis is y i was left my mom cause he juz decided tat he had enough protecting normal humans from what they never noe and never would ever wat to noe about why woulnt humans juz accept tat they ar not the only ones wu can think there ar angels demons gods and goddess and all does so called mythical creature they only belive tat if u can see, smell or feel it it is not real wat bout love wat botu friendship u can see it u can feel it ( sometimes) or even smell it but why is it there y ans me human u donnoe why do u how about minds or ur souls ar u telling me humans ar made with out minds or souls they cant think or feel feelings but sometimes humans noe tat tis exist but they only think only humans caan feel ta why how botu us half demons and all those mythical things we have minds and souls too maybe some may juz follow wat satan tells them to do but there ar others i don wish to list but juz rememeber there ar others aorund u open ur eyes



Thursday, February 09, 2006

she is a friend always at least i tot so
but yet these few mths she seem so
speacial to me so speacial tat i would dream of the
heavens excepting me in with by my side
what does tis mean am inlove with her or am i
juz missing someone wu i care for so much btu would
she feel the same or would it be juz platonic relationship
i would not be surprised if she says so but for tat i am
prepared to face anything till another time gd bye

FUCK
LIFE



Thursday, February 02, 2006

BLINDwritten by jason wade
I was young but I wasn't naiveI watched helpless as she turned around to leaveand still I have the pain I have to carrya past so deep that even you could not burry if you tried after all this timeI never thought we'd be herenever thought we'd be herewhen my love for you is blindbut I couldn't make you see itcouldn't make you see itthat I loved you more than you'll ever knowand part of me died when I let you go I would fall asleep only in hopes of dreamingthat everything would be like it was beforebut nights like this it seems are slowly fleetingthey disappear as reality is crashing to the floor after all this timeI never thought we'd be herenever thought we'd be herewhen my love for you is blindbut I couldn't make you see itcouldn't make you see itthat I loved you more than you'll ever knowand part of me died when I let you go after all this whilewould you ever wanna leave itmaybe you could not believe itthat my love for you is blindbut I couldn't make you see itcouldn't make you see itthat I loved you more than you'll ever knowand part of me died when I let you go and I loved you more than you'll ever knowand part of me died when I let you go



Wednesday, February 01, 2006

here i stand alone in the darkness of my heart
thinking of u
thinking of the times we spent together
on the phone in person
thinking of the way u smile makes my worries go away
ur laughter is like the songs from the heavens
i still remember when i asked u
what would u do if i just disapeared
u said u would cry cause i was always there
beside u.......but sometime si was not there
and now i am missing u
thinking of u everytime
crying as i noe would would never see me
as some one would u love
but here i am loving u
thinking of u missing u
but who am i too love a human
i am a half demon who cares too much
for the things tat he fights to protect
juz a nobody who is willing to risk his life
for everybody and everything tat he lives
for the humans around him............