The Dark Dark Night

Sunday, May 29, 2005

ok time to blog i heard a song eariler when i was blog surfin it reminded me of my situation now on sided love i love her but she does not love me haha....it made me laugh but it also brought tears to my eyes wat foolishness am i showing she wats to study i should juz wish her luck and disapear for a while i tried tat but i can't i juz can't this mornin my hp juz when missing but in the after noon i found it back strange but it happen oh well wat do i care i miss place things when i am thinkin of things hahahaha i juz wat to die wu is goin to remember me anyway haiz ppl say i think to much but i am juz thinkin some call me a deep person cause i think bout everything even if it is not important i donnoe but it is true i think about alot of things i should not think about like whearther someone would love me the true meaning of life but it is juz me rite? although i think about a lot of things i still have priotity to protect others from hell if possible stop hell from coming on to earth hahahahah crazy some may think but it is true i am fightin for others tat may not even care if i die or live haiz i juz hope i would noe tat some one would love haiz wat to be wif her when i die but tat is never possible never oh well i can always hope rite? hope is all i have tats all i have all i have ok lah tats enough for now time for me to go out for a walk a long one ok z.a out of here

ZnL@rif blogged at 12:04 AM

Monday, May 23, 2005

haiz hu am i to others am i juz a fool tat is always there no matter wat am i juz a fucker wu everyone likes to push around and always be the center of the jokes fuck it i would never noe wat ppl think of me cause they would never tell me wat they really think of me haiz oh well they would never noe wat i ahve really don 4 them anyway things i do for humans but they would never noe it cause if they noe i would have to kill them sometimes i feel like i don belong here i belong somewhere else but where should i go where should i die where should i juz die tat i where i wat to noe i wat to die i feel to much pain to take it any longer the one i love don even care wat happens to me i juz wish she would juz one day sms me or juz wat to tok to but tat is juz a wish of a demonchild it is never to come true any way y am i still trying maybe cause i truly juz wat to be wif her haiz tat to would never happen i can juz hope tat someday tat she would love me back...........................

ZnL@rif blogged at 8:25 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

haiz sick high fever broke my old record of 38.8 it is now 39.9 nice eh? well yesterday even eif a fever i was outside of the sch jus to look around and also hope of seeing her well did not get to see her only see excursion bus leave haiz wat disapointment oh well wat to do later when home than the fever when up again haiz oh well nth to say no more got to go ok z.a out of here

ZnL@rif blogged at 10:35 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

well hell wif it i am back it is finally over i ahve my life again as per normal well at least i can hope now i can concertate on my life my studies and my personal life well i now i ahve a crisis my ex has returned and ask me to met her she called when i was waiting for fitri haiz a shock but i was not surprise tat she would return well ya i am kinda shock a yr she when back to u.s now she return saying she still loves me and wats me to met her on fri nite haiz should i go i need to think stay here waiting for fallen angel or go on to see her again way u guys think ? well i am confused should i return to someone wu has broke ur heart so many times? haha wat a shit man she is nuts well anyone of my frenz wu read this should tag and give me suggestions k thanx ok tats all for now z.a out of here

ZnL@rif blogged at 9:28 PM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

well the earlier post was crap i juz could not write all my thoughts in sch not safe

life wat does it mean? izzit to fight and distroy our sleves izzit to protect ourselves from wat we don understand? i don noe but i ahve came to a conclusion tat life it is not destant to be but u control it u can cahnge ur destiny ur lifr anytime anywhere juz try u acna change it death is a whole u can change death or fight it u can be death or side him although i sometimes side him as i wat to die to make it all end my life is meaning less now i only fight to end tis war to end my life my blades ar ready to cut my self when it is done when it is all over i wat love i need love but wu would give it to me sertain ly not hui or sze or any one else in this sch i ahte my teachers i hate my life i hate my exsitens but y i am plce here there must be a reason must be a meaning of all this fighting all this killing all this pain tat i feel the beast is out it is roaming the world but wif my mind it is confusing it is juz wandering but i havre to sent it back to hell where it belongs sometimes i feel like tat i should join it join him to keep every one safe safe from me or anything tat follows me anywhere until tat time i will continue to do wat i can to protect even if i will cos my life my soul to be kept in hell for eternity......z.a out of here

ZnL@rif blogged at 8:30 PM

hell should i go or stay there or here? i don even noe wearther i should keep fighting or not i juz wat it all to end i wat my life back now tat nightmare is only taking this body at night tat is a gd thing rite? i juz wat tis to end now and now i shall end tis i will end tis fast so hui & sze could be and the others could be safe i hope this ends now...........................................z.a out of here

ZnL@rif blogged at 2:37 PM