Thursday, December 29, 2005

sometimes i think tat ppl would not notice me then they proof me wrong there ar ppl wu would notice me there is never tot there would haha but it is gd to noe even though it is only one person but it is gd to noe haiz i am missing someone but i donnoe if she even care if i am thinkin of her haiz wat am i to do juz think think bout her or juz forget bout her in all of the ppl i ask they say forget her i wish it is tat simple or easy juz have her in my head my dreams and my thoughs i goin on and on botu weather how much pain i when through to forget her she did too i noe but now wif her in my mind it is like i did a very big mistake back then which is haunting me like a old ghost in a house tat it use to own for tis instance she use to have my heart i use to have hers but i did the mistake of disapearing from her face for two yrs....................i donnoe wat to say any more it is juz life but if u read tis u noe wat i mean thaks for before



Thursday, December 22, 2005

life has been surprisingly fun tis few days but it is like pointless anyway even though it seems fun i laugh joke around but inside i still feel sad juz covering my face wif a mask like i would do wif my band maybe i like it tat way keep my self from human wu would ethier please u or make u internily mad or maybe i am juz missing ivy i wander is she now she is not online everytime i try calling her i cant get through juz missung her haiz now adays i feel like i am an outsider at tas (for those tas members wu reads tis don get the wrong idea ok) ya every body has like a group of frens they hang out wif but sometimes i juz sit there staring at them like i am not part of the group haiz maybe it is juz me maybe i am juz such a loner tat when it is time to make frens i juz cant haiz cant blame no one but my self well tats something tat is very true wat the heck i may juz be like tis for the rest of my life till i die or maybe when i become fell fledge demon then maybe i would juz see them at nite like i am looking at them as they slp haiz i sound like a stalker but ya when i do become full fledge then maybe i would do juz tat cause i miss them so much and better still they would not be abil to see me haiz
invisible as i always would be anyway like i am not there in front of them haiz let me be let me die for a demon would never belong on mans land they belong in hell tat is where i belong not the heavens not on earth but in hell underworld the unkown to man would never understand me anyway man would always a be afraid of wat they don understand wat the dont know and wat they dont see the three things tat would end mans own regin on earth....................tats the truth of man and it would alwasy be anyway...............................................................hell to all humans



Wednesday, December 07, 2005

You can't escape the wrath of my heartBeating to your funeral song (You're so alone)All faith is lost for hell regainedIn the dust in the hands of shame (Just be brave)Let me breathe you this song of my heart beforeI lead you along this path in the darkWhere I belong 'till I feel your warmthHold meLike you held on to lifeWhen all fears came alive and entombed meLove meLike you love the sunScorching the blood in my vampire heartI'll be the thorns on every roseYou've been sent I hope (You'll grow cold)I am the nightmare waking you upFrom the dream of a dream of love (Just like before)Let me weep you this poem as Heaven's gates closePaint you my soul, scarred and aloneWaiting for your kiss to take me back homeHold meLike you held on to lifeWhen all fears came alive and entombed meLove meLike you love the sunScorching the blood in my vampire heartHold meLike you held on to lifeWhen all fears came alive and entombed meLove meLike you love the sunScorching the blood in my vampire heartHold me (Like you held on to life)Like you held on to life(When all fears came alive and entombed me)My vampire heartLove me (Like you love the sun)Like you love the sun(Scorching the blood in my)My vampire heart

tis a lyrics of a song tat reminds me of my self the pain in my soul hoping a gal would hold me like she is holding on to life juz hoping

MANSION



Monday, December 05, 2005

haiz life its gd for now but for somereason i feel like there is something missing i already have love have great frens and family but wat is juz missing can someone tell me wat is it makin gme confused it is giving me slpless nites again and again wat is it?? haiz maybe the fact i have not contacted her for a long time and it is about time i tell her the truth bout me and my family connections wif hell demons and to many other things i cant list i wat to call her but i cant i wat to email her but i juz donnoe how to explain to her the truth of my family haiz maybe tats it ya may be i donnoe haiz

MANSION